Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
