Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
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She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
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I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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