if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i think i have two assholes
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
