My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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