thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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