honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
