I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
