That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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