That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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