I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
high people should be assigned attendants
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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