i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just cut my nipple shaving
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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