Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
