Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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