yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I party with great urgency now.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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