I love black thongs
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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