i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
