I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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