just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
