I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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