just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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