True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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