I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
