Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
