ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
