There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
