who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
