You just made me feel so damn special
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
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