You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
