you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
