I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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