WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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