You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Sober January is a disaster.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
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