How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
