we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The feeling are messing with the penis
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
