Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize