I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
