You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
