The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
