So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
