just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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