I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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