I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We were destined to go to rehab together
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
