I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
