once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
