so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I think I just sharted jello shots
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
