Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
we have pet lesbian snakes
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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