How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
