but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
