you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
