Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
