Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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