I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
