Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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