Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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