My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
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Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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