I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Houston, we have a blender
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Never joke about your clitoris.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
