shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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