How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
