We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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