toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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