Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I deserve this hangover.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
