either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
