This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
