shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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